Throughout our lives we all set barriers for ourselves. these barriers could be big or they could be small. these barriers, some are extremely visible and on our minds all day and some are invisible, eating away at our subconscious day by day. within the last couple of years i have made it my mission to face and over come many of my fears, and insecurities. it has all started from my fear of certain insects. i used to live in a city where one of these insects were extremely prevalent. i eventually got so tired of my heart racing and irrational actions following that i had made a decision to stop and analyze what my mind what going through. i had known all along that these insects could never harm me. this timeframe was also where i was at a stage of personal growth. i had this new mindset that i was trying to manifest and harvest. this mindset that had set me on my path was a mindset of spiritualism. it is this spiritualism that has tought be many things in my life, but in this case, at this stage in my life, i was interested in how things affected me. this fear that i held so close, was really all an illusion. when i came to understand that this insect and i were actually completely and uderly intwined, the fear ended. the fear of the presence of such things no longer gave me anxiety the way that it used to. i can not lie and say that i still to this day do not get startled when an insect pops out of seemingly nowhere to grace me with their presence, but i no longer fear the existence.
The second fear that i overcame, to my knowledge was some strange phobia towards my tongue. I am very much interested in body modification such as piercings and tattoos. I had always told myself that i would never be able to get my tongue pierced because of this. So i decided to that this fear and overcome it at an extreme level. I took this fear of anything to do with my tongue and achieved two things at the same time. A little back story... For those who may not know there is a thing called bifurcation, where a body part may be split or cut in half, this can be done with many different body parts, i will spare you with you list of body parts. Simply put throughout my youth i was fascinated with this form of body modification, more specifically i was interested in getting my tongue split. but the fear of anything either piercing or cutting my tongue kept me from doing so. Long story short i had the procedure done. there was no pain, but lots of swelling.... for a little over a week. Throughout the procedure i remember my mind racing, and fighting itself because of such an experience. of course after facing this fear with such intensity, i no longer fear anything going near my tongue. To note the body modification artist was out of town when the stitches had to be removed so i relyed on a friend and his wife to remove them for me. This was quite the experience as well.
I have faced other fears other than those listed above. i will spare those since this post has gotten to be quite wordy. But i am currently facing an insecurity that i hold now and possibly will go to another extreme to face it, or maybe its not quite facing it but finding an alternative in dealing with the reality that will be mine for the rest of my life. This alternative will also be a lifelong, i hope that the results will be something that i can be proud of and not afraid to show. or perhaps its just in my nature to try and hide away as i do. This is also a side effect of my fear of being alone, which i have faced by deciding to live an extremely social-less life. only during peak comfort do i decide to face others, and under only special circumstances. this i fear is one of my fears faced gone terrible wrong.
The second fear that i overcame, to my knowledge was some strange phobia towards my tongue. I am very much interested in body modification such as piercings and tattoos. I had always told myself that i would never be able to get my tongue pierced because of this. So i decided to that this fear and overcome it at an extreme level. I took this fear of anything to do with my tongue and achieved two things at the same time. A little back story... For those who may not know there is a thing called bifurcation, where a body part may be split or cut in half, this can be done with many different body parts, i will spare you with you list of body parts. Simply put throughout my youth i was fascinated with this form of body modification, more specifically i was interested in getting my tongue split. but the fear of anything either piercing or cutting my tongue kept me from doing so. Long story short i had the procedure done. there was no pain, but lots of swelling.... for a little over a week. Throughout the procedure i remember my mind racing, and fighting itself because of such an experience. of course after facing this fear with such intensity, i no longer fear anything going near my tongue. To note the body modification artist was out of town when the stitches had to be removed so i relyed on a friend and his wife to remove them for me. This was quite the experience as well.
I have faced other fears other than those listed above. i will spare those since this post has gotten to be quite wordy. But i am currently facing an insecurity that i hold now and possibly will go to another extreme to face it, or maybe its not quite facing it but finding an alternative in dealing with the reality that will be mine for the rest of my life. This alternative will also be a lifelong, i hope that the results will be something that i can be proud of and not afraid to show. or perhaps its just in my nature to try and hide away as i do. This is also a side effect of my fear of being alone, which i have faced by deciding to live an extremely social-less life. only during peak comfort do i decide to face others, and under only special circumstances. this i fear is one of my fears faced gone terrible wrong.